Week 40 – MY UNASSISTED BIRTH STORY

I got to 40 weeks and 3 days.
After I had given up on ever being done being pregnant.
I tried castor oil on my due date. Nothing.
Gave up on that.

Two days later, 7-19-2013
No contractions, nothing weird or abnormal from every other day.
Later on when O came home from work, I decided we should go to the mall or something, McDonalds, and let S play. I went to the bathroom before we left and there was bloody goop on my toilet paper, which was really exciting for me because I never got bloody show or mucus plug when I was pregnant with S. I didn’t really pay any mind to it meaning anything though because lots of people lose all that and nothing happens.
So we end up walking around Goodwill for a couple of hours, then going to McDonalds so my son can play – I have a few contractions while having dinner – pretty normal as of late, and eventually we’re walking around Toys’R’Us and then I have a few more contractions.
We get home around 9, watch TV for an hour and go to bed.
As always I just lie in bed for a few hours before sleeping, checking email, playing games, whatever.
Around 11 I start having more intermittent contractions but time them anyways.
Around 12 midnight they’re between 10-5 minutes apart. By 2 am they’re 2:30 mins apart. By 4 am I’m wondering why I didn’t go to the hospital just for the drugs. I think my exact words were, “At least doctors have drugs.”
5am and I’ve finally gotten O awake enough to hold my hand while I’m on my hands and knees, rocking back and forth on the bed through contractions. They’re still 2:30 mins apart and HURT LIKE A BITCH. I’m starting to moan through them, sounds like sex, wish it was, haha.
I start falling asleep between contractions, they seem to be getting farther apart so I start thinking this was all just false labor. “Go away already, stop teasing me!” I moan through a contraction.
I feel like I have to poop so I’m wishing it would just stop so I can go to the bathroom without getting a contraction.
I start feeling myself pushing lightly to get through contractions. After 3-4 contractions that painful I scream at hubby to get his ass out of bed and f-ing help me! He was telling me to turn around or something, but I said that it would hurt worse, so I want to squat. I have him hold me up while I squat and my body pushes more. The more my body seems to need to poop the more painful it gets, “I really have to poop!” I tell O, “OK I’m just going to poo and you’re going to have to clean it up.”
So I try to poop.
Nope that’s the wrong hole!
‘Ow ow ow’
Another contraction. Pushing. “Oh godddd, it hurts.”
“To poop?” O asks (I think)
“AH IT’S A HEAD!” I feel the head come down and then the contraction stops and my body stops pushing, “oh no you don’t!” And I push and the head comes down more, making the ‘ring of fire’ I never experienced with my son.
POP. SPLAT. There’s a baby sliding on the floor (by now O is holding my hands but my butt is touching the floor).
“OMG THERE’S A BABY, IT’S A BABY! A, WE HAVE A BABY!” Hubby is yelling as he jumps back into the closet and I unwrap the cord from around her neck and swoop her onto my chest. She starts crying right away and I flip her on her belly to get the water out and suck on her nose with my mouth. (I find it amazing looking back how instinctively this happened, I was definitely not planning on it, I thought it was the grossest thing, watching others do it in videos.)
Hubby went to boil a pair of scissors after getting me a towel and taking a picture. So I waited for that and for my placenta to make its appearance. He came back after what seemed like forever (probably like 15 minutes – we have an electric kettle) and I finally felt the gooey blob that told me it was time to push again. Plop comes the placenta on the floor where the baby was a few minutes before.
The cord was already white, so once the placenta came O cut the cord. I had to get off of the giant hospital mat thing I was sitting on in my puddle of blood and amnio-fluid and go to the shower to rinse off. There’s still bloody hand prints on my closet door from where I was trying to get up without stepping on carpet, haha.
I discovered that I tore, but besides a weird dangly thing, it’s basically a shoulder skid mark and a little rip. I think it would have been OK if my doctor last time has just let me heal instead of stitching my tear with S tighter than I was originally.
O brought the baby (a girl) to me in the shower and we tried nursing for the first time. It’s pretty useless to attempt because I have no nipples, really, but it was a nice moment.

Now here we are 4 days later and I have my beautiful little squish!

image

We waited until the day after to attempt to weigh her, and just measured her on the night before last.
6 hours of painful contractions, longer than S’ birth by 30 mins!
6lbs 5oz
19.5″ long
Ten fingers and ten toes
Cloth diapered 🙂

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