39 Weeks 5 days…

See, I told you this pregnancy was never going to end!

I thought maybe she would come yesterday, since S came at 39-4, but obviously she has her own agenda. Personally, I think it’s to torture me.
I have my normal off-on contractions throughout the day, but nothing happens. I have been having to poo more often though, so that’s supposed to be a good sign… Or maybe I’m just eating stuff that’s making me need to use the bathroom more often than usual. It’s possible that this is normal and I’ve just been constipated so long I don’t remember what a normal bowel movement is anymore. Ha.
Last night I bought a bottle of castor oil. I don’t know if I’ll end up using it, but I have it, just in case I change my mind.

O’s sister’s birthday was on Saturday, before that I was super gung-ho about visit getting this baby OUT. Now I’m more like, “Wait as long as you possibly can to get your birthday as far away from that psycho witch’s birthday as possible!”
Probably a big reason I haven’t tried anything to get labor going since Friday night. No sex, no booby-touching, and no random trips to Target to walk around. All because I would rather wait a lifetime than curse my child with having any commonality with that whore who happens to be half-related to my husband. (Literally, whore, like her kids don’t even know their real fathers.)

I thought I had a name picked out, first Ramani Sage, then Ramani Keala, and now I’m not sure about any of it. So back to square one, DAYS before she’s supposed to arrive. I’m screwed. Now I’m leaning towards something like Ottilie, or Nixie (Ottilia – Nixia pronunciation). But I honestly have no idea anymore, I don’t like anything. Why do girls’ names suck so badly!? It probably doesn’t help that I wanted to have one name after a female surfer or skateboarder. Do you realise how BORING these chicks’ names are?! The only good ones are Mimi, Coco, and Keala. Well, I’ve decided Keala is too close to all of those ‘urban’ names. Mimi is too popular, and Coco makes me think of Chanel or a dog.
I give up. We’ll just call her “Girl #1” and be done with it. Hahaha!

I AM really sick of people asking when the baby’s coming. Or having some remark about the birth of my child. I guess what can I expect with people being ignorant Americans/Western people. I have thought about deleting anyone who makes any remark about my decision, but I haven’t.
It’s really hard being along in a world of brainwashed idiots, and you’re not supposed to talk about them like that because you want to be nice and open their eyes. Not cause them to associate anger with whatever you’re trying to get them to understand. But IT’S SO HARD! Sometimes you just want to bash people’s head against a wall and try to re-brainwash them into agreeing with your thoughts. After all, you did all the research, they’re just going with whatever they’ve been told by doctors and the media. It’s sad. In just 70 years, people have completely forgotten that birth is natural and they ignore the facts and percentages that hospitals and doctors have risen maternal and infant death rates by 40%, that c-section rates are up to 46%, and that only 5% of all births will have any sort of complications! When they do have “complications,” it’s highly probable that the interveners (doctors and MEDwives) CAUSED THE FREAKING COMPLICATIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
If you’re not sick, don’t go to a hospital.
Having a baby isn’t a sickness or disease.
Keep birth at home where you’re safe.
Ugh.

Yes, I’m bitter. I find myself hating people more and more as time goes by. Especially those who claim they are ‘open’ to different things, or claim they’re “crunchy”, or whether they used to be a hippy at one point in time. Or that they’re ‘modern’.
It’s all bullshit, they’re all a pack of brainwashed little pussies.

Edited to add(7/16/2013): OK I know everyone is comfortable with different things. Taught to do things differently, including birth choices. However, I think people should educate themselves and make decision based on history, fact, percentages, experiences, and things like that. Hospitals and doctors are nothing but a -fad-. Women have been giving birth for millennia, and it’s only really gotten dangerous since people started trusting doctors that are taught to cut women open instead of letting them birth a baby naturally. Yes, women died in the past from natural causes during birth. But now women die because doctors kill them, babies die because doctors kill them. “Infant mortality” rates used to be counted within the first year of life, now it’s expected at birth.
The USA also has the highest SIDS rate and that’s probably just because we don’t practice co-sleeping anymore; like they do in those countries with the lowest rates of SIDS. Families are made to be together, live together, sleep together. Most countries still have a whole family sleeping in one room altogether!
The western world is backwards. We’ve lost our natural human common sense because we let ‘modern medicine’ and book-educated people make the rules.

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