Week 38

Well, folks – I’m getting closer to being done.
And I totally feel like this pregnancy is never going to end!

Week 38 was just HOT that’s it. I hate my life, I hate Arizona, I hate the heat, I hate the sun, hate hate hate everything.

And now my mother unexpectedly showed up for a visit. GREAT!
Normally I wouldn’t mind so much, but in this mood, we’re not going to get along and I’m probably going to kill her verbally by being a mega-super-bitch. I’ve already been doing it to my husband, why not my mother who already gets on my nerves like it’s some sort of button-pushing sport? Oy Vey.

So that’s pretty much week 38.
Fourth of July was OK, S had a ton of fun lighting fireworks and sparklers. Of course he was devastated when he found out it was over and there were no more fireworks until at least Christmas/New Years time.

Oh! I did do something today, I made a bunch of chicken and prepped a bunch of veggies and put it all together for different meals in the fridge. Mainly because I haven’t wanted to cook in over a month and my freezer is full of stuff that is never going to see the light of day at this point. So I don’t know what I’m going to do when it comes time to make these meals, but if I need them, they’re ready and is my wonderful husband ever does his two chores (trash and dishes), then he might get lucky and be fed dinner again one of these days.
Why are men so useless? I only ask him to do two things at home and he can’t even do that much. I swear he’s just waiting for S to be old enough to do those things for him so he’ll never have to. And it seems 10x worse when I’m pregnant.
Because it’s not bad enough that he’s the one who wanted another baby. He doesn’t show any interest in preparing for this kid, even acknowledging that I’m pregnant, and he doesn’t even seem to notice that we’re about to have a baby in probably less than a week.
I normally feel alone anyways. That’s most of the reason I have nothing against open marriages, I understand completely that people sometimes have to go elsewhere to get what they need out of permanent relationships. I’m so tired of being alone emotionally, and that’s part of the reason I’m so insanely moody and psycho right now… For the past month really. I just need some kind of acknowledgment that I’m even alive. Because honestly, half the time I don’t even want to be anymore if this is how my life is going to keep on going.
And you can’t really start over with two kids, which is probably the reason that O wanted to get me pregnant anyways. Just as an insurance policy that I can never leave him for the rest of my life.

Like I said, I’m moody and I hate everything right now.

Now week 39 is starting and I’m hoping that by my ‘due date’ next week we have a new baby! (Not going to bet on it at this point, I’ve given up on ever not being pregnant!)


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