43 Days Left!

Alright, so now that tomorrow is June, I’m starting to get excited!
And impatient.
A little ‘blahhhhh this will never end!’
But overall, I’m kind of just anxious to get this show on the road and see if I can survive life with two little monsters, instead of one little Gremlin. (Cute little thing that can turn evil in no time, haha.)

I probably won’t set any baby stuff up until the week it’s supposed to happen… Actually, I will probably wait even longer than that and have Hubby do all that (just the pack’n’play really) while I’m in labor. I still haven’t figured out where I’m even putting it!
Yep, major procrastination.
If it would make me feel less lazy, I could say it’s because I still have boxes to unpack and put away from our moving into this house a month ago. Really, that just makes me want to procrastinate on unpacking… I guess I should stop whining and get it done. 🙂

Today the plan is to… Watch documentaries? Haha, I was going to do laundry, but since electric is cheaper on the weekends I’m just going to do that tomorrow. Have to love the monopoly of the electric companies, enabling my laziness at housework. During the day electricity costs a fortune so its better to just flip all the breakers off except the TV and air-conditioning, lie down and wait for nightfall when I can worry less about the upcoming power bill. Welcome to America, right? Especially in Arizona. Anywhere else I wouldn’t have to be so paranoid because I wouldn’t need to use an air conditioner.

Right now I’m kind of just looking around and getting to figure out where I’m going to stick the pack’n’play. I’m not really seeing enough space anywhere to put it, unless it’s in front of shelving. We have way too much stuff, but I can’t imagine getting rid of my books, and O can’t imagine getting rid of any of our movies. Boy do we have a lot of movies. I’m to the point personally, where I wouldn’t care if we had any of this STUFF. I’m really not materialistic, hubby likes having everything he’s ever owned in life, I’m always calling him a hoarder. He even has an almost-breakdown when it’s time to get rid of clothes that he rips tons of holes in while skateboarding. Compared to him, all I own is my books haha!
I’m really not ready to figure out where all of our baby stuff is going to be put. We still haven’t gotten the bed for S’ room out of storage, let alone our other baby stuff from my father-in-law’s. The bed is really just so I’ll have somewhere to put my friend when she comes down for the birth, or if my parents ever want to stay over to visit. I have no problem continuing bed sharing. Sometimes it bothers O, but since I have pretty bad FSD after S’ birth, it doesn’t really make a difference in our sex-life.

Anyways, I guess this month is when I need to start my “nesting” is what I’m trying to get at through all of this rambling on about everything in my mind today! 🙂 
All of my diapers and covers are clean and prepped. Prefolds and flats are prepped, folded and put away neatly. My baby box is in my closet, waiting to clothe a baby. My mom brought a box over out of storage, full of S’ old clothes (the used ones) and I went through that box and picked out the stuff a girl can get away with wearing, and all of the gowns – because those are my favorite baby clothing EVER. (No fuss! Yay!). Looking at my son’s old newborn clothes, I had completely forgotten how small he once was! How small babies start out! They were so small, I thought they were preemie clothes, nope! Just newborn! And to think that when he was born, most of these ‘newborn’ clothes were way too big for him! I can’t imagine how small this little girl is about to be, I already feel like she’s huge based on how I feel her moving around from my ribs to my pelvis.
No wonder my dad wouldn’t hold S as a baby because he thought he would break him. I almost feel the same way about when this baby comes out!

43 days (give or take) until I have two children and my first daughter (someone save me, haha!). But, going into this labor, birth, mom-hood: I feel a lot more confident about my birthing choice, my ability to be a mom and keep my kids healthy, because this time around I’m a lot more educated about everything I’m about to endure as a new mom (again). This time my biggest fear is really just keeping my baby safe. For me, this means not letting people hold her, kiss her, heck, even TOUCH her.
Like Hygeia Half moon said in her book Primal Mothering, basically, don’t let anyone hold your baby except family. It’s your baby, you have the right to be “selfish”, you don’t have to let ANYONE hold, touch, even look at, your baby. You have the responsibility to PROTECT your baby! Even if that means from friends or family. If you Don’t want them to touch your kid. If you don’t want them around your kids.
If your intuition tells you that they shouldn’t be around your baby, THEN THEY SHOULDN’T BE AROUND YOUR BABY!

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